It always amazes me how much power our minds hold over us. All this week I told people that I was having problems with my motivation in my practice. And as I told people this, I also told this to myself. And so, I was a self-fulfilling prophecy all week. My alarm would wake me at 5 just before sunrise, and I would think to myself, “I just can’t seem to wake up these days!” as I reset my alarm for 6. The fact that I was cognizant enough to justify my actions at this moment should prove that I could have just as easily swung my legs from under the sheets and stood up. But I allowed my mind to be my master.
Today I said no more. The mind whimpered a bit, came up with excuses, stalled, but I gently beat it into submission with breath and driste. I didn’t want to overdo it my first day back (I’m all about self-sustainability these days), so I split at Navasana and did my second series poses. The knees have switched it up on me. I’m still feeling a little instability in the outside of my left knee, but most of the pain is gone. Meanwhile, the inside of my right knee gives this awful pinching sensation when I bend it deeply for the Janu Sirsasanas. I put a rolled blanket between the knee and the floor in these poses and that seemed to help. Half lotus on that side is out of the question now, but the left side does not protest.
I’ve got an email in to my instructor regarding Bharadvajrasana. I can’t figure out how to modify it for that first side… do I skip it altogether? It occurred to me that I could just do Ardha Matsyendrasana instead, but I haven’t been given that pose yet, so we’ll just wait and see what he has to say.