The stress levels in the past few days are beginning to take a toll on the shoulders and jaw. I’m a clencher. And the combination of that with the TMJ makes for some crazy headaches. So then the mind goes as well. All sense of calm is lost.
When I need my yoga practice the most, those are the times that I can’t get to the mat. Such is the nature of the beast, I suppose… Daily life that threatens to drag you under its wheels if you don’t sacrifice the nonessential in order to keep up. Must remind self: Yoga is not among the nonessential.
And tomorrow will be another doozy. Drop dog off. Park car 6 blocks from airport. Rent car. Arrive at work before 8. Work work work. Leave work. Drive to San Diego. Decompress…. Drink wine… Eat… Talk about yoga yoga yoga… Laugh. Will there be time for asana? Perhaps, if I can drag myself out of bed around 4 am tomorrow. Please tell me you have faith in me. I need that. I need my practice.
Sometimes people ask me how I do it. How I get myself up in the wee hours to practice. Or even why I do it. And I’ve decided that I do it because there’s a husband next to me in bed who gently reminds me as I hit the snooze button and roll over to go back to sleep: “You’ll be happier if you get up now and practice.” Or less gently: “You’ll be sorry if you don’t get up!” Or even less: His big square foot in my back, pushing me inch by inch to the edge of the bed. That’s usually when I’ve requested, “Kick me out of bed in the morning, please,” as I reach up to turn out my light the night before.
When he’s in Mexico? Not only do I hit the snooze button… I turn the alarm off completely.
If I had him here with me this week, the shoulders would loosen, the jaw would slacken, I think I could deal with the stress much more gracefully. And yes, I probably would have had to wake up earlier than usual in order to fit my entire day in to the mere 24 hours offered.
But I’ve done it before. So why can’t I do it now?