I forgot to mention that it felt so amazing to practice this morning, despite a few lingering bruises and scrapes. I went in with little expectation and was hoping to maybe get through Primary, but once I finished Primary I still felt great so I pushed through Kapotasana as well. The large parts of my practice were still intact. The poses were there, mostly. The jumpbacks were pretty strong, as was the breath. But it was the smaller nuances that have gone missing. The bandhas, for one. Easy to find in jumpbacks. Hard to find everywhere else. I suppose they’ll show up somewhere along the way.
Pasasana was a little strange, actually. Usually, I have to let the heels come up or rest them on the edge of my mat for the first side, and then I can get the heels down pretty good for the second. This time, it was the exact opposite. For the first time, I grounded those heels no prob on the left side, but the right was tricky and I had to lift the heels to find my balance. Strange…
Shalabasana-Bhekasana wasn’t as aggravating as I expected it to be, although Dhanurasana was a little painful. I rolled to the right in Parsva, rolled back up, began rolling to the left, and then “woke up” right as I was teetering on that left pelvic bone ready to drop over. I realized… if I were to fall to my left side… a world of pain awaited me. That left hip is still bruised and swollen. A discolored lump of tenderness about the diameter of a baseball. Miraculously, the bandhas kicked in right at that moment and I came back up to center myself.
Laghu Vajrasana was a wake-up as well. I forgot how hard that pose could be, especially when the legs have had a good solid week to turn to jelly with little to no activity. I could barely come back up, and I had to press into my arms a little bit, which is totally crim.
Then came the big one.
Again, I wasn’t expecting much. The few backbends I’ve done in the past week while teaching have been pretty painful as they stretch this big gash across the left side of my stomach, but for some reason it wasn’t feeling so bad this morning. Stretched back, reached back, grabbed midway up my arches first then crawled my hands up to my heels. Kapotasana B even felt nice for a second or two. Must’ve been the time away from the mat.
I did my backbends, and I must have already stretched enough at that gash, because it really didn’t hurt. So I stood up and did a few dropbacks before sitting back down and going into my finishing poses. Laid down for savasana. Thought about Kapotasana and my initial glee with Kapo B. And then it struck me.
You know how when you’ve been stuck at your desk all day all alone, or stuck inside the house working on a project (like say… your taxes?), and you’ve got your head buried in your work but you’re just craving that human contact… you’d talk to anyone, really… and then someone you don’t care for too much, maybe someone who annoys the hell out of you normally, shows up at your door… and you’re happy to see them even though you don’t normally care for their company? But you’re thrilled to death that you’re talking to someone, really… it could be anyone and you’d be just as happy? And then within 5 minutes, you remember that you don’t like them all that much and you wish they’d go away???
I think that’s how I feel about Kapotasana B.