So I think I’ve moved past my “Woe is me” complaints of yesterday. It all comes down to insecurities that I need to face and get over. This is, after all, my first year of teaching. If I didn’t question myself, then I’d be doing this for the wrong reasons.
Time will tell.
In the meantime, I got back on the 5 a.m. Manduka express for the first time in… oh no point in keeping track. I pushed through primary again, then went in to finishing. I plan on adding my second series poses back in tomorrow.
The Mysore Project has officially crashed and burned. The woman who consistently stood me up finally joined AW and I for practice one afternoon, and then sent this in an email:
Hope your practice went well this wk.
The carpet thing wasn’t the best for my wrists, but thanks for including me. Also I think the quick race through the poses, which is the style, doesn’t quite suit my needs, sometimes I like to stay and sometimes I like to be quick. And I’m not used to the energy of people racing thru, I feel like I need to keep up, and I know I dont. So although I have the desire to practice with others, maybe it doesn’t suit me. Thanks for hearing my musings.
Racing through? Hm. I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I can’t say I’m not surprised, either. My husband is constantly bringing me back to reality: “You’re expectations of others are so high, but I don’t think you realize that your own dedication to your yoga practice is pretty extreme.” Well, I don’t know about extreme. I did go for 7 days without practicing recently. But I do understand that waking up at 5 to spend 90 + minutes breathng and stretching and sweating on a rubber mat is not at the top of everyone’s list of priorities. For me, most mornings, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be (except maybe back in bed).
Okay, so I’m considering signing up for Chuck and Maty’s teaching intensive in March up at Vara in Albany… anyone have any thoughts/encouragement/discouragement? I think the cost is $240 for 4 three-hour sessions. $20/hour doesn’t seem too excessive…