We had dinner with some friends last night. The evening ended up going much differently than I originally planned, and I had difficulties accepting that. Originally, I had invited two friends over to our house for dinner. Then they asked if we could just bring take-out over to their house while they packed for their weekend away. I’m so over restaurant food right now, so I asked if I could just make dinner and bring it over. “Sure,” they said. “X and Y will be here too.” I consider all 4 of these people to be my very good friends, so that sounded great.
So there would be 6. No problem, I put my meal plan together, grabbed all the stuff, and brought it over to their house. And then I realized that they were all packing for their trip to Mammoth to stay with some of our other friends. And then I started to feel left out. We weren’t invited along.
As the girls helped me put dinner together, they gabbed about the trip, what to pack, what to expect, and I fell silent… piping in when I could. Every time I would bring up another topic, something we could all talk about perhaps, I would be interrupted by Y. Finally, I dropped my knife and gave her a look. “Oh, sorry. What were you saying?” she asked.
Never mind, I said. Rather than tell her how she was making me feel at that very moment, I chose to crawl back inside my shell and lose myself in the task at hand.
Try as I might, I couldn’t seem to let the hurt and disappointment go as the night went on. Snide comments crept up in my mind, and I had to work VERY hard not to let them come out of my mouth. I know I wasn’t warm or friendly throughout the evening. That made me feel terrible, too. I hate being passive-aggresive.
When we left, I wished them all a happy New Years as I fought back the tears, hurt by my friends, disappointed in myself for letting my feelings color the evening. When we got home, I told Tay how I felt, and he said I was just being silly and overly sensitive. (Why do men do that?) Maybe I am, I don’t know. Certainly I accept that more than 4 people would be too many guests in our friends’ house. I also accept the fact that not everyone has to be invited to every event. Case in point, I had invited D and A over to our house, but had no intention of inviting X and Y. But I just feel like perhaps they shouldn’t have invited us over if they were getting ready to take a trip without us.
And now I’m stuck with this question. Do I call them out on it and tell them how I feel? Do I apologize for my strange behavior last night? Or do I just pick up my chin, and let it all go?