I haven’t set foot on my mat since Friday with Vance.
I feel tremendously guilty while a bit overwhelmed by the pressure I put on myself to maintain this daily practice. A “rational” (aka non-ashtangi) might say “well then, just stop pressuring yourself to practice every day.” The idea of practicing every day is this grandiose fantasy wherein every stretch is glorious and the morning quiet is calming, cleansing, and meditative… while the idea of not practicing every day is depressing and drudgery, gray and slothlike. So therefore, I push myself towards daily practice. And maybe I don’t get to practice asana every morning like in my fantasy, but the intention is there.
Yes, these are the things I fantasize about. Practicing ashtanga every day. WAIT. Strike that. I fantasize about waking up without the alarm clock, then practicing ashtanga every day. That would be glorious. Isn’t this what every healthy young woman fantasizes about? NO? Really? Okay, well how bout this: Waking up without the alarm clock, practicing ashtanga every day and touching my feet down to the ground in bhekasana. Wow. I don’t really know what could be better.
And I don’t really know what else to say about that, except that I wish I had practiced this morning, but I was cooking (still cooking) for tonight’s candle party.
I think I went a bit overboard. I honestly know no other way. Go big or go home. I could’ve bought a bunch of premade trader joe’s appetizers and entrees, but that’s just not me. Since I’m big on the list thing lately, a list of what we are having:
- roasted beet salad with goat cheese, arugula, and lemon vinaigrette
- grilled shrimp on rosemary skewers
- herbed cream cheese and smoked trout on belgian endive
- roasted red and yellow pepper salad with white balsamic vinaigrette
- artichoke bacon spinach dip with pita crisps
- sweet potato and pearled barley risotto with rosemary
- lots of wine
In hindsight, I wish I’d done the prepackaged t.j.’s route. Then maybe I would have had time to practice this morning or last night or tonight…. but alas, I made my bed and now I must lie in it.
Speaking of bed…. I’m sleepy. Nap time?
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