My, it’s been quiet here for some time.
There have been changes… of course the usual changes that time forces upon us:
gray hair: can’t decide whether to let it go or start dying again.
smile lines: well, whatever. At least I have a lot to smile about.
feet: no change here. They’re still too big. I guess that will never change.
Ash: goes from baby to boy in what seems like an instant, running, jumping, making up songs and jokes. There’s no way to sum this up in a sentence, but he amazes me every day with his wit and his charm and I wonder what parts of him are ours and what parts are truly his. He is stubborn and silly (me). He is pensive and cautious (tay). And he is picky as all get out (all ash).
And then beyond those, changes that I initiated… whether intentionally or not:
Last year I started a new business with a partner. Basically doing what I was doing before, but now on our own. We’ve found some success, and it’s exciting and fun and challenging, but I found myself with no real “hobbies” outside of wine. And anyone who knows me knows that I’m queen of hobbies. Or something like that.
If that’s what you can call it still… I’ll expel upon this at greater length than the others listed above as this is supposedly a “yoga” blog. There is a longing for some sort of rekindling my practice, some sort of daily discipline of Ashtanga… but a complete disconnect of how I get from here to there. I’m an Ashtangi miscreant, and my body hates me for it. Some days I have 20 minutes on the mat and I play around with arm balances or navasana variations, and then the very rare days that I find myself with ample amount of mat time, I bust out my full (once) practice complete with dropbacks and Tick Tocks and then just expect my body and mind to deal. And in the end… Body= pained. Mind= pained. There are, of course, all of the self-deprecating comparisons of where one pose was three or so years ago (kapotasana, for example) vs where it is today. And then the results of intense backbends and twists on a system that is no longer accustomed to intense backbends and twists, like cocaine only more focused. (not that I would know…)
A small group of friends are putting together a “yoga club” or something like that and invited me to practice with them… one of them was a former student from a few Ashtanga workshops I put on years ago, but the rest are recent acquaintances within the past two or so years. And when I offered to lead a vinyasa session here or there if they’d like, one said, “wow! I didn’t even know you were INTO yoga!”
There are days like this that I’m happy to have Ganesha perching on my shoulder. He brings me back to my mat, even if it isn’t a daily practice at this link in my lifechain.